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Change Now, Goals Evolved

I recently read a pretty good opinion piece from http://crossfitlisbeth.com/ that was titled “Time to Do” that pretty much sums up my thoughts on New Year’s Resolutions. Like the caveat in the article, if resolutions work for you then use them as a tool for change. If you constantly find yourself cheating, or downright breaking, your resolutions then you should probably find another tool set to use on your journey. In my last post I talked about some of the tools that I am utilizing on my journey for 2012. Those tools being as follows: Regular updates to this blog with candid evaluations of my performance, the motivational goal setting index cards, and the tools of friendship and coaching through my family at http://www.crossfit5280.com/ . Through this I plan on having an exceptional year, a year that I am calling “The Year of Strength!” I do need to take a couple of lines for a small rant. 5280 is putting on a “Challenge to Change” for the New Year and I think that this is an awesome idea. It has been really well thought out for the most part, and it is being presented very well. I believe that it will hold athletes accountable for at least 6 weeks during the transformational challenge. After that hopefully the majority of us will stick with the change and not revert back to unhealthier ways. I do have one small issue with the challenge, and this might have been a little hard to do with such a large group or it might be a little to personnel to put out there. This issue stems from a couple of comments that I have heard, and they are comments that I myself made when I was embarking upon my journey. The comments basically have the form of “You want me to give up what?” or “I have always done it this way, it is just who I am.” These comments bring a very large question to my mind, that question is “Why do you want to change anyway?” Until you can look yourself in the mirror, which by the way I am actually now able to do with pride, and explain to your true self why you want to change; there is little use of the challenge. I am not an expert or life coach, I am just a person who has been at the bottom and am still fighting my way back up. My little piece of advice for those of us who are stepping up to the challenge is to start by defining your goals and defining your purpose for being on this journey. My purpose is to live for my girls, to be there for my wife, to be a hero to my daughters, to be an inspiration to everyone I meet, to be able to protect my friends and family in any situation, to be faster, better, and to be stronger than I was yesterday. What is your purpose? Ok, I know I said that this was going to be a small rant, but I have one more thing that I want to throw out there. I will not be fully participating in the gym’s challenge. By that I mean that I will put my money in the pot, I will be keeping my journal up to date, I will follow the nutritional guidelines, and I will follow any additional guidelines to the best of my ability. What I won’t be doing is stepping on the scale or getting measured, that will put me out of the running for the end prize and I fully accept that. You may ask why and make the statement that after 2011 this would be right up my alley. Well it is not, the scale and tape measure came very close to derailing my journey last year and I am not prepared to face them yet. Like I said earlier I am just now getting comfortable with looking at myself in the mirror and I am not mentally prepared to go beyond that yet. I know that I have body image issues and I know that I will have to face them, but not this Saturday and not during this challenge. Ok my small rant is done, now on to the real reason you are reading this post. 2012 Fitness Goals, drum roll please, my 2012 goals are to get stronger. I will become stronger physically and stronger mentally. Currently my max C&J is sitting at 164 pounds (74kg) and my max snatch is 115 pounds (52kg). By the time I compete in October in the 2012 FRCF Fall Weightlifting meet I am training for a C&J of 240 pounds (109kg) and a snatch of 200 pounds (91kg). I am confident that the rest of my lifts will go up as well, but these are the two lifts that I am focusing on in 2012. In addition to my OLY lifting goals I do have some gymnastic and CrossFit movement goals and those are as follows: handstand pushups, double unders, C2B pull-ups, running, and a number of others that keep me from performing workouts as prescribed. I am going to treat these as secondary goals from my lifting benchmarks. You might notice, if you are paying attention, that mountain biking events and goals are absent thus far from my list of goals. I am not giving up mountain biking, but I am also not focusing on it. Biking will be for recreation and fun as a sport. Yes this is a drastic change from last year, but it is my life and I have rediscovered a passion of lifting heavy weights. I have cut back my events for the summer of 2012 from 5-6 endurance events to 1 endurance event. I will be running the Tough Mudder June 9th with the CF5280 team. Other than that the only other event I am training for is the OLY lifting meet at FRCF. If I get recruited (read roped in) for any other team events it will be on a case by case basis and will be because I am worthy. So here it is on the internet, my fitness goals for 2012. Let me know what you think!

2012 Game Plan

As I sit down to write my first blog post for 2012, also the first post that I have had in the past six months I ask that you go back and re-read my post from June 18th, 2011. That post will give you some insight to this post. That was the second to last post that I had on my blog from 2011. You may ask what happened. Did I fall off the path, did I stop my life changing journey, or was it something else? I can happily say that I did not fall off my path, I did reach my initial weight loss goal of 100 pounds in one year. With a heavy heart I have to say that I only succeeded in meeting two of my 2011 goals, one being the weight loss and the other being setting max weights on my lifts. With fight gone bad I only completed 202 reps, 48 reps short of my goal. I was not able to run the warrior dash due to my calf injury. The longest mountain bike ride I was able to complete was 20 miles and the longest run I was able to do was a 5k. Some might say that I should be proud of what I did accomplish and not focus on what I missed. I do have to admit that 2011 was a great year and I did see a lot of progress. What this does show me is that I am really bad at setting goals or maybe it is that I am bad at following through with goals and doing what is needed to see that I do succeed. The year 2011 is now in the past and now it is time to focus on 2012 and set forth the battle plan that will be the foundation for my success, 2012 is going to be a strong year!

I have been spending quite a bit of time lately thinking about setting goals and what is the best way to maintain my motivation and drive. In the initial stages of my weight loss journey my blog was a good way to keep me honest and help put a voice to my training frustrations. I think that it is a good place to start for the 2012 year of the gorilla. So my first tool I am going to use for setting my goals for 2012 is to update my blog regularly, maybe even once a week, but to what end and to what purpose. I think the main purpose is to have a record of my training and like I wrote before have a voice for my frustrations and successes. Another tool that I am going to use is a method that I am borrowing from Adam Farrah of SINS (Strong Is the New Skinny). That method is using index cards to record goals and motivational cues then to use these index cards for daily reflection and affirmation. I believe that this will be a good tool to use prior to my lifting sessions and whenever I feel my motivation faltering. Let me take this time to digress a little and give some insight into why I believe that I will need this tool.

This past year has taught me a great deal about myself, it has shown me the great man that I am capable of, but it has also shown me the pitiful slob that I could become if I succumb to my inner dark side. There are two things that threaten to derail me on a daily basis, they are the inner dialog that tells me to quit and my lack of healthy body image. Those two things I fight on a daily basis and have a feeling I will be fighting for a long time. I honestly believe that the daily affirmations from the index cards will help me fight my inner demons and keep them at bay.

The last tool that I want to discuss in this post is the tool of friendship and coaching. I have found an awesome family in CrossFit 5280. The coaches are amazing and very passionate about what they do. Also the other athletes are very inspirational, I have yet to walk into a WOD or lifting session where I am not inspired by those around me. More than once they have pushed me through a WOD and I am better for it. In 2012 I want to be the inspiration, I want to be the one pushing my fellow athletes. I know the type of man that I am, I know the mental fortitude that I have, and I want that to shine through my actions.

So now that I have discussed the basic tools that I will utilize in 2012 to reach my goals one would think that it is time to list my goals. Honestly I am not prepared at this moment in time to put specifics down on paper yet. What I do know is that the goals that I wrote back in June are no longer valid. I want to keep up with mountain biking, because it is really fun, but I don’t believe that hardcore endurance events are where my heart is. I have found a love for Olympic lifting and Power lifting and this is going to be my focus for 2012. The two main events I want to do in 2012 are the Tough Mudder and Xterra sprint Tri. I am going to sign up for the 2012 CrossFit game sectionals, I know that I am not fully trained for them but it will give me good insight for future years. The short of it is that 2012 is going to be a strength year, a year where I focus on nutrition, and a year where I focus on myself as a man.

In the next couple of days I will be putting some meat to my goals, so keep checking back! 

DNF is not DNS

I apologize first for the long post, but I have a rant. My name is Bruce and I DNF'd the WOD today. I didn't complete the pull-ups or K2E, I reopened a tear on my right hand. That aside, I listened to my body and quit. A quote from an awesome person got me to thinking "It's not worth it." You know what it is not, there is a fine line between pain and discomfort. Discomfort you can push through because it is temporary and the nature of the WOD, pain is one inflicting harm and injury on ones body. Sure pain can be fixed by working on your form, decreasing intensity, or rest to heal. Know this if you push through the pain and injure yourself that is a stupid act, it's not brave or courageous, it is stupid. The WOD is not the same as pulling your brother out of a burning vehicle or saving someones life it is a workout. We all have our own reasons for stepping into the box everyday, we all want to get better, faster, stronger, and maybe work a little on our LGN goals. We step into the box, look at the board and do what we have to in order to accomplish our part of this life's journey. That is just it we show up. So next time you feel that pinch, listen to your body, listen to your trainer, drop the weight and not RX, or just quit. Did Not Finish is not the same as Did Not Showup. I might have another DNF tomorrow but dammit I am going to show up. Life is a marathon, it is not about the individual steps, it is the distance that counts!


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The Gauntlet has been Picked Up! I'm Back!

What sets me apart from others in this world? Is it my strong chin, broad shoulders, and striking good looks? Is it my quick wit, calculating thought process, and logical mind set? No, not really, those are traits that I do not hold high in my mind. What sets me apart from others and the trait I want to hand down to my kids and be remembered for is my heart, my code, my dedication. Honor, courage, commitment, loyalty, and love, that is the code that is branded upon my heart. That is the code that I have been blind to the past week due to a silly injury. That is the code that came shining through as I stepped into the gym this morning, as I walked across the field this morning because my body is not ready to run, those are the words that were spinning through my head as I lifted the weight and did the push ups. I might be a mere mortal man, with weakness and faults, but above all I am a Husband, Daddy, Friend, and US Marine. I have a duty to none other than myself to ensure that I do not fall or fail. I have set in motion a great many things on my life changing journey, a journey to bring my true self to the world again. I can not and will not lose site of the horizon by staring at the ground, I will hold my head high and charge into the battle. The battle for my life, my family, and my friends. I will recover, I will continue on my journey, I will get stronger, I will get faster, I will be powerful, I will love with all of my heart, and I will dance like no one is watching! So I ask you to stand by my side and get ready for the coming storm, for I am coming, I am unleashed, and I am ready for battle!

So I did want to take some time and thank some dear friends, you know who you are, that have helped me and guided me out of the mire of despair this past week. Very few times people walk into your life that are true genuine friends. These people have a great impact on ones life and will leave lasting marks! I was asked what my goals were, what goals that I have set, and for some reason the cloud of my despair masked them from me. Well the veil has been lifted and I would like to mark down my specific goals for all the world to see. Keep in mind that these are at a level below my high goals that I set to live for my girls, these are the stepping stones to help me get there.
2011
1. Return to mountain bike rides with Dave-August 3rd
2. Warrior Dash- August 20th
3. Set Maximum's on all my lifts-Sept. 3rd
4. Fight Gone Bad 6 (score above 250)- Sept. 17th
5. 60 mile mountain bike ride-Oct. 15th
6. 10k run barefoot- Nov. 1st
2012
7. 1 mile swim-Feb. 2012
8. Rock to Rock Adventure Race
9. CrossFit Games 2012
10. Optic Nerve 24hour Mountain bike race
11. Tough Mudder
12. Warrior Dash
13. Big Mountain Adventure Race
2013
14. Complete all 5 races, including the Breckenridge 100, of the Rocky Mountain Endurance Mountain Series.
15. Full Xtera Triathlon
2014
16. Iron Man Triathlon

Some may look at this list and think that I am crazy, and you know what? I am crazy, crazy in life, crazy in love, and crazy in friendship. I will accomplish these events through hard training and dedication and with the help of my family and friends. I will use CrossFit and CrossFit Endurance as my main training tools, and I will do this with primal nutrition. Anyone is welcome to join me in any training or activity, what you are not welcome to do is tell me that I can not accomplish this. Those of you who know Bruce, Sgt. Keller, BaBa, or Chunks you know that I do not take kindly to people telling me that I can not do something.

So in parting for the day I leave you with this. I am back!

Derailed, Depressed, Determination

It has been awhile since my last post. I was in a groove, things were going great, and my game plan was right on track. The Elephant Rock ride was a huge success! CrossFit was going great, I was prepping to set max's on all my lifts. I was researching CrossFit Endurance and looking to pull it into my training. My diet was dialed in, I had started a 30 day primal eating challenge. I stepped on the scale at 230 pounds, a total of 76 pounds lost. My goals and dreams were coming into focus and I was adding things to my bucket list of things I wanted to do. My fitness goals, my family happiness, and my work life balance were all within my grasp!
Then it happened, the slap in the face, the reality check, the kick in the balls. I was having an awesome Friday! My morning workout went really well, a group of us rode to the park, we let the kids play, and then we hit the field. We had bear crawl races, low crawl races, and wind sprints. We had kids from 5 years to 36 years having a blast, then it happened. I went to push off on a race with my right leg, it felt like I hit something with the back of my leg, I heard/felt a pop, I looked back, and then the pain hit me. My calf was shot. In an instant my great day and my good roll changed. I found myself sitting in my chair with the port-o-cool pumping ice water on my calf. I could walk without pain. I went to the doctor to rule out an achilles rupture or calf rupture. Come to find out I sustained a stage 2 calf strain. The strength in my right calf is gone, I am having a hard time even doing seated calf raises. To say the least this sidelines my training. From what I was told and what I have read it is 6-8 weeks before I can think about training at the level I was. So what does that mean. Where do I sit on my journey?
I would love to say that I took this injury in stride and didn't let it effect me or my attitude. Well that is not true, I failed miserably! By Friday evening I let depression set in and I turned to food with the justification that I was injured and my training was derailed. My diet went to crap over the weekend. I sat in my chair all weekend, ate like crap, and felt sorry for myself. I let all sorts of dark thoughts enter my head. I basically failed myself and everything that I have worked for.
Now what do I do? How do I step out of this funk? I wish I had the answers, but right now I don't. We will have to see what tomorrow brings.

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I Can't Go On!

"I can't go on", those four words pass through my head multiple times throughout my day. It pops up in the middle of a CF workout, during a bike ride, packing my food for the following day, or just sitting in my windowless cubical. So far it has been followed by another little voice that says something to the effect "Suck it up buttercup" or "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" or "Shut the Fu&k up and get it done!" I'm worried about what would happen if the second little voice stops trying. What am I to do if my own mental fortitude fails me? Honestly I have started down a path of some serious self doubt and self loathing the past two days. I have to admit that my body image is the lowest I have ever seen it in my life, I can hardly look in the mirror to shave. I remember Sgt. Keller US Marine and wonder where that man has gone. I walk into the gym at 0545 and have to admit that I am the fattest most out of shape person there. How the hell did I let this happen? How did I go from being CrewChief of the year to have high blood pressure and bad blood work. I went from riding high on life to anxiety attacks and depression.

Well that was 6 months ago, now my blood pressure is back in normal range, my blood work is within healthy ranges, and for the most part my moods are leveled out. Is it due to the diet changes? Is it due to the weight loss? Is it due to the increase in activity? I would have to say yes to all of the above? So what would happen if I go back to old Bruce, to my old ways? What would happen if I give into the voice that says I can't go on? Would I go back to working 60+ hours a week, stressed out beyond belief, and being depressed. Hell yes I would I am 100% sure of that, I can not stop! I will not fail!

So what am I doing to prevent this fall back into the pit? What safeties have I put in place? I decided when I started on this journey that it was a one way trip, a total lifestyle change. I am out to reinvent myself in my own vision. I have wonderful reasons to be healthy, to extend my life, and to be happy doing it. The CrossFit family at CrossFit 5280 has welcomed me in and is pushing me hard and helping me keep going. The encouragement I hear when I am finishing dead friggen last, in my ears it is like a gold medal crowd cheering. I am still working on the nutrition side of things, I dropped the first 50 pounds with a reduced calorie clean living diet with whole grains and dairy. When I started CrossFit I switched to the paleo/zone plan and the only issue I have is the time spent planning and prepping a 16 block plan. Recently I have been researching and reading more about primal and paleo eating and trying to digest (no pun intended) all the different studies and information out there. I have been reaching out and surrounding myself with influences that understand what I am trying to do. People who understand what I am trying to do and why I am doing it.

My goals are simple and I need help with making them more specific and obtainable:
1. I want to be healthy and live a long life.
2. I want to be happy and enjoy life.
3. I want to be the best Daddy and Husband possible.
4. I want to be able to protect my family and friends at all costs.
5. I want to lift and throw heavy objects.
6. I want to look good naked.

The journey continues! My knees hurt, my back aches, I have to use a foam roller every-night! I have to suck up my fragile pride every-time I step into the gym, I have to use bands to do pull-ups, I run slow! The thing is I get up every morning with a new spark and hit it hard, I play with my girls every chance I get, and I love my wife with every fiber of my being!

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Halfway Milestone, A Look Back

So I have hit the 256 pound mark, 50 pounds lost, 50 pounds to hit my goal, and 233 days to get there. On October 1st 2010 I started my journey, the journey to a healthier me, a fitter me, my journey to live for my girls. My journey, in the beginning was to lose 100 pounds by November 1st 2011, it has changed a little since the beginning. At first I was relying on mainly diet, counting calories and macronutrients, with exercise thrown in the mix. The weight loss was quick at first, and has since slowed down to about 2 pounds a week. The majority of the benefits did not present themselves on the scale, they had a subtle way of slipping in. I started noticing my clothes being baggy, I could fit into things I had not worn in a few years. I can now shop at normal stores and not in the big and tall sections. My energy levels increased, I am down to only 1 cup of coffee in the morning. Most importantly I can chase my girls around and play like no one is watching. I don't care if I get laughed at by cars driving by when I try and jump rope with my girls. Or people laugh when I skip through the store with a giggling girl on both arms! Life is good!
I have started down a new path with my fitness and it hurts oh so good. I have been doing CrossFit for two weeks now at a local gym, CrossFit 5280. I have been initiated into the CF family and according to Laura it could be borderline obsession. The whole basis of CF really appeals to me, the competition and sense of family, the gym is awesome!
I want to thank everyone for support and encouragement! I still have a long road to go! I will not be stepping on the scale again until my birthday on April 30th. One side effect of CrossFit is to be replacing body fat with muscle. I don't want to beat myself up to hard about numbers on the scale and focus on performing on my workouts! Semper Fidelis!


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The Real Fun Starts Tomorrow

So I completed my on-ramp sessions for CrossFit. I spent the entire week sore but pumped from the workouts. On Saturday I completed my first "Fran" workout in 9 minutes, 31 seconds. The workout consisted of 3 rounds of squat thrusters followed by pull-ups, 21 reps then 15 reps and finally 9 reps. It was hard and I was not able to complete it at the prescribed weight or without assistance on the pullups, but I did complete it. After the workout I was kind of hard on myself because I believed I could do it better. Then I got to thinking, this is only the start of my journey, I have not lifted weights seriously since 2000. The first 5 months of my journey was spent on the elliptical and treadmill for long period of times. The physical strength that I once had will come back. One goal I have set is to bring my level of fitness to a level I have never known. The only way that I can ensure that this goal sees the light of day is to ensure that I am physically able to continue on my journey. If I push myself to hard and hurt myself then everything I have worked so hard for will come crashing down. So I have to be smart and listen to my body.
I am 3 pounds away from hitting my 50 pound loss mark, this is huge! I will keep the blog updated on my progress!


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Crossfit Ramp-up Session 1...Check

So this morning started out like any ordinary hectic morning in the Keller household. We stayed in bed until the last possible moment, snuggling with the girls. Then we had to get up and get the day going, load up the girl scout cookies for the booth sales and get ready to go for a nice workout that I was really pumped up for. Today was my first real workout in a really long time. Not that what I have been doing for the last 5 months haven't been workouts, it is just that they have been boring fat burning workouts. So I was talked into joining the CrossFit family and get initiated into functional fitness. I have one thing to say, "Holy Crap!" I have not worked that hard in a long time. The first 45 minutes were spent going through the proper way to do shoulder presses, shoulder jerks, box jumps, rowwing, and kettle bell swings. I was breaking a sweat and feeling pretty good. It was like a normal workout, do something, rest, and then do it again, no worries. Then it was time for the Workout of the Day or WOD. 15 minutes as many rounds as possible of 5 shoulder jerks, 10 box jumps, and 15 kettle bell swings. I got through the first round with no real issues, I was feeling good. Then it started to kick in that I still had 13 minutes to go, and I just focused on my movements and breathing. By the end of the 15 minutes I had only completed 5 rounds and I was breathing very heavily. I felt like puking by the time I did a lap around the parking lot, but I also felt my inner beast emerging from being dormant for over 11 years. As the euphoria kicked in I knew this was the dawn of a new day. CrossFit is going to help me change my life! Now that I have had time to come down off of my fitness high my body is trying to tell me something. Something like what the hell are you doing! I need to stretch, I need to recover, and I need to continue this journey! Tomorrow I am going to layout my 4 block diet for the week, stretch again, and spend some quality time with my girls! Life is good!


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Because I Can!

So whenever you hear of someone undertaking any life challenge or experience you always hear the "Why are you doing that?" question. Or you get the naysayer's who say something to the effect of "Why would anyone ever want to do that?" or "That is to hard, you can't do that!" This can be anything from running the Tough Mudder, Warrior Dash, Spartan Race, a marathon, a triathalon, or an iron man. or it can even be a life adventure like wintering in Alaska or traveling to stay at the Ice hotel. Well my answer to anyone who tells me I can't do something is first "Screw You! Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do?" then the civil part of me kicks in and I try to explain why I have the motivation to do this. Well enough of that I do not have to explain myself to anyone, except my wife, I don't have to justify my dreams to anyone! My answer from now on will first be "I am going to do (insert awesome goal) because I can, and I am sorry if my dreams don't conform to your limited thought of normal!" I am fully convinced that I can do anything that I put my mind to, I can accomplish any goal I set for myself, I can conquer any adventure my mind can dream up! So to all my friends out there who are following your dreams, jamming to your own tune, running at your own pace let me hear your voice! We do these things simply because we can!
So I am almost half way in my weightloss goal, my diet is very healthy, my body is adapting to a new level of fitness, and I am extremely happy! Do I sit back and ride this wave? Hell No! It is time to step it up, set additional life goals, bring my mind body and spirit to a whole new level! So I am tweaking my diet to a more clean living diet, I am starting Crossfit at a small AWESOME gym called Crossfit5280, and I am adding challenges to my adventure list. I am going to run the Tough Mudder, the Warrior Dash, and the Spartan Race! I am going to run a triathlon, mountain bike across the country, and climb all 14ers in Colorado! These are just a few items I have added to the list! I am going to be the best husband possible, I am going to be a Daddy and hero to my girls, and I am going to put my family first! Semper Fidelis!
I do want to thank some special people who have helped me on the first half of my journey! Lisa and Peter, you guys are the best friends Laura and I can have! Scott and Cari, you guys are solid as any rock, thank you for your listening and support! Jen and Ben, the laughter you bring to our lives is very appreciated, the energy you bring into any room is amazing! Dave and TC, thank you for the kick in the ass to straighten out my priorities, your motivation to follow my dreams is amazing! Brent, thank you for keeping me honest and making work easier to deal with! All the children, the unconditional love and laughter is amazing! Most of all to Laura, my rock, my best friend! Thank you all!


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I Blame The Angry Birds

Ok I know that it has been a whole week since I have posted. No I am not on travel again, no I have not fallen off the wagon, and no I have not given up on my journey. So what has been keeping me from posting and keep up the myriad of followers on my progress you ask. Well two things and been dominating my free time, one my wonderful family and two a mindless game on my iPhone, blasted Angry Birds. In order for me to fall asleep at night I must actively shut down my brain. If I do something that requires thought and concentration then I have the hardest time getting my mind to shut up. So I have a ritual where I play a mindless game as a sign for my brain to relax and let sleep overcome me. Oddly enough posting on my blog right before bed does not signal a sleep cycle in me, I keep thinking of new and exciting things to post about. That being said after the workout and girl scout cookie sorting that i have been helping with I will have no issue falling asleep tonight.
So what has gone on the past week? I lost another pound, so I am down to 263 pounds as of Saturday. I know it is not on my 2 pound a week schedule but it is progress in the correct direction! I checked out a couple of CrossFit gyms in town and found one that I really like, I start my ramp up sessions on Saturday! My good friend/brother Cody Carroll turned me on to CrossFit as a way to ramp up what I am already doing. Honestly 90 minutes on one of the Machienes is getting really boring and my body is adapting to it. So I am going to change things up a bit. I am going to tweak my diet and ramp up my workouts. I will keep the blog posted on my findings with the new gym!
I am so looking forward to stepping on the scale this Saturday, I have a really good feeling about the weight! So good night y'all and remember to Thank a vet and support our troops!


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Nag-athon 2011

Wow, there must be something in the air today. Everyone decided just to unload their complaints into my inbox. What? Did everyone sense that I had a killer workout and had drained all of my snarkiness? Even at home the nagging fur was flying, and it was going both ways. I have a wonderful wife that loves me unconditionally, but things just started to fly! But with all good marriages there are peaks and valleys! I am ready for the hike up to the next peak.
On the weight loss note, I had a rough day yesterday. For some reason I was craving salt and carbs, luckily I had some reduced fat cheese nips handy. Un-luckily there was also some chocolate cookies within quick reach, I think I went over on fat for the day. Days of weakness are going to happen, I just have to be stronger! So off for some quite relaxation before I go to bed in the dog house!
~BWK

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Wow, being a cookie Daddy is hard!

Being a cookie Daddy is a hard job! It isn't all the paperwork, it is not setting up the spreadsheet to track orders and payments, it is not answering the numerous questions about when cookies are getting here, it is however having 156 cases of girl scout cookies in my family room. I have been so good and have not ripped into any, yet! The temptation is there though! I do have to say Congratulations to Kaitlynn, she was the high seller for her junior troop with 235 boxes sold. Her troop made enough money to send every girl and mommy to spend a night at the museum! They will have a blast.
On to a lighter topic...me! I lost another 2 pounds last week. I feel great and can see some results. I have been going through my photos to try and find one that I can do a before and now comparison with. Funny thing is that fat Bruce really didn't like to have his picture taken. (total side note: my daughters are sitting here making arm farts in the living room, I had to join in! Laura is So proud!) I do have to say that loosing weight is really a trying experience, it is hard on the whole body image thing! My skin is not as elastic as it used to be, losing the underlying fat makes things loose and jiggly. I have to keep in mind that this is long term and healthy for me. My body will eventually return to a static form, so what if I won't be able to swim without a swim shirt or run at the beach shirtless. For one we live in CO, and secondly I will help prevent skin cancer! So I have lost 42 pounds of fat from my body, almost a 45 pound plate from the gym. That is 42 pounds that I don't have to carry around all day! Things are looking great!


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Life is short!

I had a wonderful weekend! A weekend full of fun quality family time, the laughter of children, and good clean fun with my wife. A weekend spent with good friends, good food, and the Superbowl. It was an excellent reminder of the amazing friends and family that I have been blessed with. It was a perfect reminder of why I am on this journey, of why I am making a lifestyle change, and all the good things that I have to live for! I have a lot to offer this world, I have two beautiful daughters to watch grow up, I have an amazing wife to grow old with! So each and every morning when I wake up and hit the gym I need to take a minute and meditate on my life!


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3 More Pounds Gone

Well I stepped it up majorly this week after a little sickness knocked on my door. I took a hard look at my diet and exercise, I took a retrospect on why I am on this journey, and I sucked it up. My reward was not only in my energy levels and awesome workouts but also when I stepped on the scale and was down to 266 pounds from 269 pounds last week. That feeling is wonderful. I am also noticing changes in my body, and no it is not puberty all over again. I can see definite changes now and so can Laura and the girls. Quote from Kait "Daddy I can hug more of you!" Now that is why I am doing this! Well world bring it on!


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Short post

To anyone who has ever stuck to a diet or has done any weightlifting or basically any other high protein nutrition plan, I have to say I know your pain. As does my wife...The impact of such a protein rich diet to ones GI track is not a pleasant smell. I am sorry I do not have a dog to blame it on.
On a less stinky note things are going great! I feel awesome, after a small bout of sickness. Also I am looking forward to getting my new bike later this month, then I can pick things up a notch! Well that is when the temperatures get above -12 degF again. Well it is off to bed for a good nights sleep.


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Baby, it's cold outside!

Well when you ask what the world can bring you, it answers with a bout of a little sickness. Good thing was that it hit me at the same time as the cold snap hit and everyone wants to stay inside. Bad thing is all the wonderful smells in the house from the slow cooker. My beautiful wife is doing such a wonderful job at cooking healthy foods that are awesome tasting.
I had some time to run some numbers and adjust my diet. My balance now is 45% carbs, 35% protein, and 20% fat. On the fat only 7% is saturated. So for the next 2 weeks I will see how this works. Hopefully it will break my plateau.
I do have to say Thank You to a couple of wonderful friends who gave me a verbal smack down. I am not on this journey for the numbers or for anybody else but myself and my girls. Since I have started my journey I feel great, I have more energy, and my family time is benefiting! Yesterday I got caught, not that I care, skipping through the market with a girl in each hand. All of us were out of breath, not from skipping, but from laughing. It was a memory that will keep me on my path for life. So I asked what the use was, well I answered my own answer!


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What is the use?

So I stepped on the scale this morning fully expecting to see some positive results. I worked out 6 days last week with the minimum calorie count of 650 calories burned. I was under everyday on my food intake, good balance of protein, carbs, and fat. So you can imagine my surprise when I stepped on the scale and had gained a half pound, so I am sitting at 269 pounds.
That totally put a damper on my mood, what the heck. What is all of this for? So I guess I need to take another look at my food intake and lower the fat and carb intake. Maybe look at my workouts and step it up, my body isn't burning the fat as it should.
Or do I just say screw it and go back to being fat. I did notice at least two nights last week that I just about passed out in my chair from being tired. My body feels fine, my blood sugar is normal, my blood pressure is high normal. I do feel stressed, and this doesn't help, and I know that I eat when I am stressed. Dinner tonight was evidence of that, stuffed French toast! Now I feel guilty, I promises my girls that I would take them for ice cream if they got their stuff cleaned up. I don't want to break my promise, but I mentally am beating myself up. Oh well, bad days are going to happen! The important thing is to learn from it!


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Dieting for Engineers

Ok what would a diet book written by an engineer read like. I have had a lot of time to think about that during my workouts. To those who know the inner workings of my brain, I apologize, no one should have to witness that chaos...oh I meant to say that you know I thrive on numbers and statistical analysis. I have spreadsheets for everything from tracking my weight-loss and estimating my projected weight loss within the given data set. I track all of my daily food intake using an iPhone app. I track all of my regular exercise using estimates of calorie burn. I have researched multiple weight-loss plans and taken pieces of each to apply to my situation. It comes down to the fact that a cookie cutter diet plan will not work for everybody. Each individual needs to find what works for them. The average American does not want the bother of figuring it out, they want some pill, some apparatus, some diet plan that takes all of the engineering out of it. Maybe I should take my eventual success and turn it into a book and a plan, and then retire and Mountain bike from coast to coast and border to border!

Take time for the important things in life! Play with your kids, laugh with your wife, take time to build real friendships, and live life to the fullest every minute of everyday!

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